Missionaries of the Sacred

It is often hard enough to speak up when people close to us say something offensive, but it can be even harder to recognize when we are actually the one perpetuating a stereotype or holding a racist or sexist attitude. Perhaps we pride ourselves on treating others equally only to find ourselves upset when our son or daughter brings home a girlfriend or boyfriend with a different racial or ethnic background. Or maybe we’re generally careful about the words we use but didn’t realize the origins (or implications) of an expression we grew up hearing until a coworker pointed it out to us. In these situations, it is important that we allow ourselves room to grow. Just as we should speak up when others make sweeping and stereotypical generalizations, so should we be open to the growth that can occur when others challenge our attitudes. If we see our mistake, we should apologize. If we don’t understand why a friend was offended, we can ask them to explain. They may have a perspective that will help us grow in understanding. Self-awareness can also help us discover attitudes of our own that do not respect the dignity of all people, or areas where our words and actions do not match our beliefs. In these situations we also need to allow ourselves room to grow. It may take time to remove a word from our vocabulary or to become comfortable around people from diverse backgrounds, but the result is well worth the effort.