Missionaries of the Sacred

While it may be difficult to care for an aging or sick parent, grandparent, spouse or relative,  caring for others can also be a source of grace and many blessings. Likewise, it may be difficult for us to adjust to new limitations and to become more dependent on others, but although the ways we contribute to society change, the fact that we have a contribution to make doesn’t. It is a tragedy that anyone would want to hasten their death because they are afraid of being a burden or no longer find meaning in their lives. Here are a few ideas to get you thinking about how we can all affirm the dignity of all people.

Show loved ones you love and appreciate them

No one likes to feel like they don’t belong or that they have nothing of value to offer. Include elderly and infirm family members in family activities as much as possible. Be mindful of dietary restrictions when preparing meals. Invite them to tell a story or share some family history.  If it’s hard for them to follow conversations in large groups, make sure you spend some time one on one.  Likewise, if a friend or relative is in an assisted living facility or nursing home, visit frequently. If you live far away, you can still call often and send letters, notes, cards, homemade valentines, etc. in between visits.

Take a break

Caring for a loved one can be difficult work and we all need to be able to take a break. If you are the primary caregiver, try to set aside some time for yourself. You may not be able to afford to hire a nurse full-time, but perhaps you can afford it for an afternoon a week, or maybe you can share caregiving responsibilities with another family member. By allowing yourself some breaks, you’ll be less likely to feel overwhelmed by the task and less likely to think of your loved one as a burden.

Re-examine your expectations

Are we completely dependent on others or are we simply no longer able to do all the things that we would like to do or that we used to do? Too often we tie our identity to a job or to activities in which we are involved, which can result in a crisis when we are no longer able to participate in the activities that “gave our life meaning”.  Sometimes we need to cut back or downsize and/or graciously accept the assistance of others, i.e. the neighbor who mows our lawn. We also should be open to the new ways we may be called to share with others,  such as being a source of support and  encouragement in a child’s or grandchild’s life.