Missionaries of the Sacred

Much of life is a mystery, but the mystery of suffering often seems much harder for us to embrace. When wonderful things happen to us, it is usually easier for us to accept them (we don’t often ask ourselves “what did I do to deserve this?”). Although we cannot fully understand suffering, it is a part of our lives. How should we respond?

There are two approaches to suffering, one which brings us to love and life and one which brings us to despair and death. Jesus suffered in many ways, but he did not focus on himself or his suffering; his focus is a loving focus on humanity. Jesus loves humanity and God his Father.  He endures his suffering, not as an end, but as a means of fulfilling a mission of love. It isn’t that anyone looks for suffering, but suffering is something that can be endured in love, if we focus our attention and love outwards, towards others. For example, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. suffered persecution in his personal life as well as the great injustices suffered by his people. Yet he suffered out of love and out of a belief that things can change, that things can get better, and so his suffering became redemptive.

The same concept applies to physical pain. Pope John Paul II embraced his suffering. He didn’t sit in his room and despair; even shortly before his death he made the effort to come to the window to wave to the people at St. Peter’s Square. He accepted his limitations but didn’t allow them to stop him from doing what he could do. Most of us know people who have endured suffering yet continue to be filled with joy and love for others. They don’t understand their suffering, but they accept it and move forward, focusing their attention outwards, towards others. Personally, I learned a lot about suffering from my mother, who had terrible arthritis. When she would return from the clinic, she would worry about the children with arthritis she had met there, and would think of ways she could bring joy and love into their lives.

When we suffer in despair, our suffering turns in on itself and becomes the object of our focus. It consumes us and destroys us.  We may blame God, ourselves, or someone else. Even if others are at fault, if we stay stuck in blaming others, or keep trying to find an answer to a question which has none, we reach a point of confusion which leads us to hopelessness and despair. Despair brings the death of the spirit and the death of the body. Spiritually speaking, the reason the Church is against euthanasia and assisted suicide is because we believe that even in the most extreme circumstances, there is never cause to despair because there is always the possibility of loving others and being loved. This is the lesson we Missionaries of the Sacred Heart learn from Jesus, who has loved with a human heart: love is always possible.

We can allow the pain of illness or the loss of a job to destroy us, searching forever for a reason or someone to blame, or we can accept it and begin looking for the next step we can take in love. We can interpret the events that happen to us through the lens of fear and refuse to change, but when we refuse to grow, we die. Growth and change can cause stress, pain, and anxiety. We have to stretch ourselves, move past that which we didn’t think we were capable of, and embrace all of life’s mysteries.

Suffering then is a mystery which can help us grow, depending on how we respond. The Passion shows us how great God’s love is for us, yet even Jesus, in his humanity, doesn’t understand his own suffering (remember the prayer in the garden), but he does accept it. He gives up trying to understand why it is necessary, and we have to do the same, so that we too can move forward in love. We do not despair because love is always possible. Love gives meaning to our lives. Love brings life.

Fr. Joseph Jablonski, MSC